Happy 19th Birthday, Justin!

Where did the time go?

In Law Enforcement, They Call it a Clue......

THE SETTING:

The city of Fresno is bisected by State Highway 99. This busy thoroughfare, which stretches nearly 300 miles through the central valley of California, is a well traveled route to many of the small towns and villages located between Sacramento and Bakersfield.

My husband, Dan, often travels on Highway 99 during his work as a detective with the Fresno County Sheriff's Department. When he is on duty, Dan wears street clothes and drives an "unmarked" car. By "unmarked", I mean the car is plain white. It does not have a light bar mounted on it roof, nor is it painted with the distinctive green stripe and big gold star, like the cars in the patrol division.

It does not mean that it is difficult to figure out it is a cop car of some kind.

THE CLUES:Clue No. One -- The car has a "California Exempt" license plate. Also note the bracket surrounding said license plate which advertises "Fresno Sheriff's Dept. Recruitment" with a phone number.

Clue No. Two -- The car has been assigned a number and sports two bumper stickers. One bumper sticker asks if the person reading is an organ donor and the other is a D.A.R.E. sticker to keep kids off of drugs.

Clue No. Three -- Two guns (a shotgun and an assault rifle) in their brackets are easily visible through the rear window. Also visible is the cage protecting the driver from a violent passenger.

Clue No. Four -- The car is a white Ford Crown Victoria with the model name "police interceptor" clearly visible on both sides of the car.

Clue No. Five -- The car has a steady red light beacon (required for a traffic stop in California) mounted on the driver's side door and a spotlight on the passenger door which are folded forward when not in use. Also visible on the dash is the top of the mounted notebooks and other equipment required by the Sheriff's Department.

AND THEN THERE'S CLUELESS.......

Dan is traveling north on Highway 99 in the "fast" lane. Traffic is moving at a good clip with most cars moving along at approximately 70 m.p.h. (The speed limit is 65 m.p.h. along this stretch of the road). Glancing into his rear view mirror, Dan sees a gray BMW rapidly closing in on his bumper. The driver is obviously in a hurry and rapidly closes the gap between his car and Dan's Crown Victoria.

The BMW pushes its nose to within five feet of Dan's rear bumper and begins tailgating. Now, at this point, one might think that the impatient driver would begin to notice those aforementioned clues we talked about. But noooo, he appears to be oblivious to them. After tailgating for about a half mile, he then begins to flash is headlights at Dan, a signal that Dan should get out of his way.

His curiosity thoroughly piqued, Dan decides to pull to the middle lane and let the driver through. As soon as he is clear of the fast lane, the BMW blows by him at approximately 85 m.p.h. and accelerates away. As Dan watches, he begins to weave in and out of the fast lane, passing slower cars, then careening back into the fast lane.

Now, you have to understand Dan. He hates, and I mean HATES, to write traffic tickets. In fact, in the 16 years I have known him, the number of speeding tickets he had issued could have been counted on one hand.....until now.

Dan sped up and began to pace. When the GPS unit on his dash reached 110 m.p.h., he had had enough and hit the red lights. It took three more miles before the driver of the speeding BMW noticed that he was being red-lighted and finally pulled over.

As Dan walked up, the driver confidently told him that he couldn't be given a ticket because Dan was not in a "real" police car and he obviously wasn't a "real" cop!

Wait until he get to court and discovers he will owe a "real" fine of $721.

Ravelry

There is a huge downside to Ravelry.

I started cataloging all of my stash and decided it would be easier if I had it all in one place.

Now, my husband Dan has never, ever, ever seen the sheer size my stash.......
He stood in shocked silence as he looked first at the piles of bright colored yarns waiting to be photographed.......

then slowly turned and looked at bags and bins stuffed full of twenty years of accumulated yarn acquisition.....
.........and finally ended with the stacks of roving waiting to be spun into yarn .

Poor Dan. He looks a bit shell shocked -- you know, that deer caught in the headlights look?

Which leads me to the question ---- Should I tell him that there is yet still more yarn in Washington?

Loaded with Preservatives

Ever wondered why airline snacks always taste like cardboard? I think I discovered the reason why during our last flight.

Look closely at the expiration date..........

Apparently, these chips are best when consumed before April 3007!

The Endless Afghan - The Fifteenth Square

This square is from the The Great American Aran Afghan and was designed by Meredith Morioka. It consists of an intricate center cable and a seed stitch and lace pattern as the side borders.

I finished this square last week but apparently I misread the instructions and used a needle size too large. Previously, all of the other squares I had knitted were fairly consistent as to size. In fact, all of them had blocked nicely at twelve square inches each. But this square was huge...... and I do mean HUGE! When I measured it, the tape measure revealed the thing was fourteen inches wide and fifteen inches tall.

After mumbling a few choice knitting words, I frogged the entire thing, reduced needle size, and started over. The re-knit version happily was right on gauge so I have added another finished square to the stack! Twenty five more to go!

The Yarn Harlot AND Yarnhog --All in the Same Day!

Last June, Sanger High School had the temerity to schedule Justin's graduation ceremony without first checking The Yarn Harlot's tour schedule. Although I would have loved hearing her speak, you don't invest eighteen years into your kid and miss out of one of life's payoffs.

Consequently, I have been watching her "Harlot on Tour" posts hoping that she would be scheduled in California again before the end of the year. As luck would have it, she was the featured speaker at the Los Angeles Public Library on September 15th. When the schedule was posted on the Internet, I made reservations for two, hoping that Yarnhog would be able to attend as well.

Although I had never met Yarnhog (a.k.a. Suzanne), she and I had been commenting on each other blogs for several months and have an seem to have an almost eerie connection at times -- we are both fairly tall, we are both attorneys, we both have boys, we have the same make and model of computer, both of our fathers worked in the same field.......the list goes on and on. I emailed Suzanne, asked her to join me, and she agreed! The Harlot was scheduled to speak at 2:00 p.m. Suzanne and I wanted to get a good seat so we agreed to meet at my hotel at 10:30 a.m. She arrived right on time. We spent two hours getting to know each other. What a lovely woman. Then, since we wanted to get a good seat in the auditorium, we headed over to the Public Library.Even though it was only 12:30 p.m., there were knitters everywhere! It seemed Suzanne and I weren't the only only who thought arriving early was a good idea. We joined the line and did what knitters do best when confronted with a long wait --- out came the knitting needles, spindles and projects.
Suzanne sat down and started on her Icarus Shawl. Suzanne is knitting the shawl for a friend's wedding and her posts on it have been hilarious. She ordered the yarn on line. When it arrived she was stunned to discover that dental floss is thicker. She commented that she has completed 7943 rows and it seems to have increased in size by a whole inch. The wedding is rapidly approaching so she was working on it whenever she could. As we knit we chatted with other knitters/bloggers, including Cat Book Mom, Bee Bonnet and Dizzy Ewe.

When the door finally opened, Suzanne and I were delighted to snag front row seats! Next to us is Audrey, the lovely program director and librarian who set up the event.

The big moment finally arrived. Stephanie entered to a huge round of applause and immediately took pictures of the audience with the traveling sock.

Then she spoke to the assembled crowd. She was poised, charming and had the crowd in stitches (forgive the pun) with her offbeat sense on humor. Then, despite a grueling schedule which has her in seven cities in seven days, she graciously signed her books and chatted with the crowd.

This is Jean Roosevelt (goldenpurl.blogspot.com), the lovely knitter who collected the knitted hats donated to charity at the event.

And finally the requisite picture of yours truly with The Yarn Harlot herself. All too soon, it was time to leave and say good-bye. But what a wonderful day!

That's different.....

When I lived in Southern California, I hired a Certified Public Accountant named Mark to help set up my office accounts and prepare my taxes. Twenty five years later, he still prepares my taxes. Since I am in Fresno and Mark is in Los Angeles, I drive 200 miles each way when I have to close out my fiscal year. This morning, I headed south bright and and early. The day was hazy and traffic was light. All in all, the trip was boring until I saw a truck in the distance hauling a strange load.

It's not often one sees a giant toucan and parrot out for an early morning jaunt!

After meeting with Mark, I headed to The Bonaventure Hotel in Los Angeles. I checked in, then headed for the elevator. A plaque just above "up" button noted that the elevator had been used when filming the movie "In the Line of Fire".

While I was standing there waiting for the doors to open, I wondered what the crowd in the lobby would do if Clint Eastwood suddenly ran through and jumped into the elevator. Then the door whooshed open and this got out.

And you know what? No one paid any attention.

Tomorrow, I have reservations to hear Stephanie Pearl-McPhee speak at the Los Angeles Library. She is a wonderful speaker and it should be fun.

Block Party

This is what I did this afternoon.

Before......

......and.....

After!

It never ceases to amaze me as to the difference blocking makes!