In Law Enforcement, They Call it a Clue......

THE SETTING:

The city of Fresno is bisected by State Highway 99. This busy thoroughfare, which stretches nearly 300 miles through the central valley of California, is a well traveled route to many of the small towns and villages located between Sacramento and Bakersfield.

My husband, Dan, often travels on Highway 99 during his work as a detective with the Fresno County Sheriff's Department. When he is on duty, Dan wears street clothes and drives an "unmarked" car. By "unmarked", I mean the car is plain white. It does not have a light bar mounted on it roof, nor is it painted with the distinctive green stripe and big gold star, like the cars in the patrol division.

It does not mean that it is difficult to figure out it is a cop car of some kind.

THE CLUES:Clue No. One -- The car has a "California Exempt" license plate. Also note the bracket surrounding said license plate which advertises "Fresno Sheriff's Dept. Recruitment" with a phone number.

Clue No. Two -- The car has been assigned a number and sports two bumper stickers. One bumper sticker asks if the person reading is an organ donor and the other is a D.A.R.E. sticker to keep kids off of drugs.

Clue No. Three -- Two guns (a shotgun and an assault rifle) in their brackets are easily visible through the rear window. Also visible is the cage protecting the driver from a violent passenger.

Clue No. Four -- The car is a white Ford Crown Victoria with the model name "police interceptor" clearly visible on both sides of the car.

Clue No. Five -- The car has a steady red light beacon (required for a traffic stop in California) mounted on the driver's side door and a spotlight on the passenger door which are folded forward when not in use. Also visible on the dash is the top of the mounted notebooks and other equipment required by the Sheriff's Department.

AND THEN THERE'S CLUELESS.......

Dan is traveling north on Highway 99 in the "fast" lane. Traffic is moving at a good clip with most cars moving along at approximately 70 m.p.h. (The speed limit is 65 m.p.h. along this stretch of the road). Glancing into his rear view mirror, Dan sees a gray BMW rapidly closing in on his bumper. The driver is obviously in a hurry and rapidly closes the gap between his car and Dan's Crown Victoria.

The BMW pushes its nose to within five feet of Dan's rear bumper and begins tailgating. Now, at this point, one might think that the impatient driver would begin to notice those aforementioned clues we talked about. But noooo, he appears to be oblivious to them. After tailgating for about a half mile, he then begins to flash is headlights at Dan, a signal that Dan should get out of his way.

His curiosity thoroughly piqued, Dan decides to pull to the middle lane and let the driver through. As soon as he is clear of the fast lane, the BMW blows by him at approximately 85 m.p.h. and accelerates away. As Dan watches, he begins to weave in and out of the fast lane, passing slower cars, then careening back into the fast lane.

Now, you have to understand Dan. He hates, and I mean HATES, to write traffic tickets. In fact, in the 16 years I have known him, the number of speeding tickets he had issued could have been counted on one hand.....until now.

Dan sped up and began to pace. When the GPS unit on his dash reached 110 m.p.h., he had had enough and hit the red lights. It took three more miles before the driver of the speeding BMW noticed that he was being red-lighted and finally pulled over.

As Dan walked up, the driver confidently told him that he couldn't be given a ticket because Dan was not in a "real" police car and he obviously wasn't a "real" cop!

Wait until he get to court and discovers he will owe a "real" fine of $721.